Thursday, 30 June 2011

Will You Join The A Graceful Death Exhibition?

New Paintings And New Interviews Required

A Graceful Death is now a well known and wonderful exhibition.  It makes a big impression on those who come to see it, and those who help it to move around the country.  The paintings are full of love, enquiry and passion.  The love is a response to the power of the human spirit at the end of life.  The love is for those who are dying and for those who are left behind, watching. The love is for the helplessness of approaching death and the loneliness of the person who will die.  And of course, the love started for me, with the death of my partner Steve.  I am still loving Steve through the work with everyone in A Graceful Death. 

The enquiry is about the process of ending a physical life.  How on earth does this happen, and what is it about?  It is what we will all do, we will all be dead one day, and we will all have to approach our death somehow.  What is it all about?  How does the body fold up and die, what is this thing called Life and when it has left a person, where does it go?  This enquiry is about the most important part of our life, the ending of it.

And passion?  That is the art.  That is the medium in which I am trying to explore this phenomenon.  I am a painter and my way of searching, looking, asking and presenting my enquiries, is through painting.  I paint with astonishment, looking at those who I paint for the exhibition with such curiosity, such a wish to understand, such admiration.  

I am a talker too.  I am making a film with my colleague Neill Blume, and I want to hear what those who are in the exhibition have to say.  I am intrigued by what they have to say - what is happening to them?  How are they feeling about dying?  Those that are bereaved and have watched someone else die, what happened to them in their bereavement?  I want to talk about dying, the end of life, the personal journey of each one of those who are in the exhibition and more.  I want to discover everything, I want to paint it, record it, and I want all of us to talk about it.  I want all of us to want to know too.

A Graceful Death is a wonderful exhibition.  It is expanding and more people are coming forward to take part and to be painted, interviewed and written about.  I am oh so thrilled with this.  This exhibition has dealt with death through illness, is dealing with death through suicide, has been approached to deal with the death of a stillborn child, is dealing with death through old age.  I am open to work with anyone who feels that they can play a part in A Graceful Death.  

If you are, or are with, someone on the journey towards death, and want to join the exhibition then please contact me.  Each person who I work with in the exhibition is different.  Each person has their own story and an image that suits just them.  Talk to me.  We will do what is best for your story.  If you are working through a bereavement and want to be a part of A Graceful Death, talk to me.  I would like to paint you as you really are, I would like for you to be as sad or recovered or mad or lonely or OK as you really are.  When Steve died, I was mad.  My behaviour was totally off the wall, and I have not found anything like it in any text book on grief and bereavement anywhere.  I painted myself in that state too.

Your stories and your images are part of the wider exhibition which aims to make it safe and possible to talk about dying.  I have found that those who come to the A Graceful Death exhibition and who have experienced the death of someone, wears that experience like a mist around them.  Not unlike childbirth; once you have children, the world changes and you see things differently for ever.  When I had my children, I remember feeling that no words could ever have prepared me for the enormity of what had happened.  But other parents understood, and it was all I could talk about for years.  I was turned inside out by the whole process of birth, babies, the changes in my body and mind, the pains, the fears, the bonkers idea that I could create new people.  Tiny needy wonderful babies that never gave me a moment to rest or think or even recover.

The experience of dying is as powerful.  It is where we need to find space to talk and make it reasonable so that when we do it, it is not an anonoymous and unspeakable journey.

If you want to talk about taking part, please email me.




Hiram Burnett. 
His daughter Cecil found him impossible to like but loved him as he died. 

A Graceful Dying.  Waiting in the Hospice






Alone Triptych.  All that is left is a pair of slippers.  I painted this of myself when I was in a dreadful mess.



Anne and Peter Snell.  Peter wanted to be in the A Graceful Death exhibition to help others by his dying, but didn't live to see this finished picture.


Dancing Steve Out Of Life.  He is pulling away as we dance into the future

Survivor.  I have survived the grieving process.  I need nothing in this painting but the colours, there is no indication that I have come through except the bright warm colours around me.

Talk to me.  I want to hear from you.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Strawberry Fairy, Bathtime Angel And More - Fund Raising Sale This Weekend In Wimbledon

www.antoniarolls.co.uk  for my website
www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for the Jesus on the Tube website
www.antoniarolls.blogspot.com for an account of an Artist and Mother in Bognor Regis


Fruit and Veg Fairies, Mood Angels and Handmade Earrings at Art Sale 
Fund Raising for A Graceful Death project and film

  Angels, Earrings, Fairies and Cakes by
Antonia Rolls

Strawberry Fairy.  5" x 7"



You are warmly invited to a weekend sale of Paintings, Prints and Handmade Earrings
Wine and Tea and Cakes 
     
Red Pointy Pepper Fairy 5x7"      Dark Angel 5x7"                 Calm Angel 5x7"
 
                                                         
 
Saturday May 21 10am - 9 pm to
 Sunday May 22 10am - 9 pm
   at
127 Worple Road, Wimbledon SW20
Bath Angel 5 x 7"
 Sale in aid of the A Graceful Death projects, the Film and the Exhibition.

 www.agracefuldeath.blogspot.com for more information

I aim to have this sale of Angels and Fairies and fun things while also displaying the latest information about the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  The weekend is about having fun with all of you, with colour, fun, wit and humour, alongside the serious business of raising funds for the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  

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The A Graceful Death Film Project -
Making a film of the effect an exhibition of paintings of death and the end of life (A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of life) has on those who are involved in the works, and those who come to experience them at exhibitions.   Showing how the exhibition is created and broadcast, and hearing what those who love it say, and those who don't love it, say.  And very significantly, showing how it feels to paint a sitter as they approach the end of their life, or as they face an uncertain future.  A section of the exhibition shows Survivors too, those who have come through illness, or the bereavement process, and are living again.
Click on the link below to see our video and to hear more and to donate to this important work. 
 
 
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It will be great fun this weekend.  I will be at my dear friend Clarissa's lovely Wimbledon home, where the second showing of the A Graceful Death exhibition was held last year.  We are very much looking forward to seeing you all, and there will be many Angels and Fairies for you to choose from.  And if you don't see what you want, or if you have a fab idea for a painting, tell me and I will paint it and send it to you.  
The A Graceful Death project, by which I mean the exhibition and the film, is being considered by St James's Church, Piccadilly.  I am going to meet the Rector this Thursday to talk it over.  This would be excellent.  St James's is an inspiring church, it seems to want absolutely everyone to be welcome and to take part in its life.  There is a daily market outside its doors too, which I like.  A Graceful Death, I feel, would be at home at this church.  I have not met the Rector, but I have seen her!  She spoke at my dear friend Nicola Slee's book launch held at the church last month, and I am looking forward to meeting her properly.

I have sent off, finally, an application to the Arts Council for funding for a year.  This would help me to make the paintings and to research how to make the exhibition grow and be seen.  I am investigating two more possible venues, one in Manchester again and one in Yorkshire.  Once I have finished all the administration for the exhibition and the project, I will be delighted to paint for the next exhibition again, and will be painting Nushi Khan-Levy and I hope, another person too.  I would like to speak to my new contact on the very important subject of suicide.  We still have to work our what paintings would be best for his particular story.  And I would like to speak to another possible contact, who is probably a bit too ill to speak to me at the moment.

At some point, I would like to talk about bereavement.  I would like to explore the stories of those who have to go on with life, whether they like it or not.  How I behaved during my bereavement used to worry me, it seemed very odd.  I wondered if I was a bit strange.  But talking to other bereaved people has made me see that it is possible to be totally bonkers, while still being you, and what we do and how we get through our grief, is a very important life lesson and should be discussed so that those going through it don't worry that they are losing their minds.  I did not lose my mind, but I tipped over into quite out of character behaviour.  Looking back on it, I am glad that I did, it was a way of making real the dreadfulness of being without Steve.  Not because he went off into the sunset with someone else, but that he died.  I saw him, I held him, I could not mistake it, he died and that was absolutely that.

Bereavement is a very important part of the end of life and I will explore this for the next exhibition in Birmingham in November.

In the meantime - come to the Weekend Sale.  I am having a raffle on Sunday evening, and the prizes are as follows -

1.  A beautiful framed print of Jesus on the Tube.  Jesus on the Tube is the best known and most popular of my paintings and has a whole website dedicated to it.  Even the Archbishop of Canturbury has his own personalised Jesus on the Tube.  www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for more information.  Photographed by Eileen Rafferty, a superb photographer and print maker

2.  A framed oil painting of cyclamen in a spotty bowl. I  painted this for the sheer love of it, I love plants and flowers and when I have time, I love to paint them.  About 17" x 30".

3.  An Angel or Fairy of your choice - I will paint it and send it to you in the post.

4.  A custom made pair of earrings, you choose the beads and I will make them up for you.


This weekend of Earrings, Angels, Fairies and Cakes is of course, in aid of raising funds and awareness of the A Graceful Death exhibition and film. There will be opportunites to donate to this very important project, and I will be happy to talk with you about what it all means, what I am doing and where it is all going.  And in the meantime, come - buy Fairies, buy Angels, buy Earrings and buy the yummiest cakes to have with your cups of tea (or wine if it all gets too much).

 

Thursday, 5 May 2011

 www.antoniarolls.co.uk for my website
www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for the well known image of Jesus sitting on the London tube being ignored
www.antoniarolls.blogspot.com for an account of an Artist and Mother in Bognor Regis

Angels, Earrings, Fairies and Cakes.  A Sale of Art Works for the AGD Film and Exhibition

But First 
The A Graceful Death Film Project -
Making a film of the effect an exhibition of paintings of death and the end of life (A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of life) has on those who are involved in the works, and those who come to experience them at exhibitions.   Showing how the exhibition is created and broadcast, and hearing what those who love it say, and those who don't love it, say.  And very significantly, showing how it feels to paint a sitter as they approach the end of their life, or as they face an uncertain future.  A section of the exhibition shows Survivors too, those who have come through illness, or the bereavement process, and are living again.
Click on the link below to see our video and to hear more and to donate to this important work. 
 

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 Angels, Earrings, Fairies and Cakes by
Antonia Rolls 

Shopping Angel



You are warmly invited to a weekend sale of Paintings, Prints and Handmade Earrings
Wine and Tea and Cakes 
                      

Fairy Cakes and Flowers                                              Fat Ladies Diving
                                                                                       

             

  


                                                              Blue Teapot Fairy
Saturday May 21 10am - 9 pm to
 Sunday May 22 10am - 9 pm
   at
127 Worple Road, Wimbledon SW20

   New Beginnings Angel   

 Sale in aid of the A Graceful Death projects, the Film and the Exhibition.

I aim to have this sale of Angels and Fairies and fun things while also displaying the latest information about the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  The weekend is about having fun with all of you, with colour, fun, wit and humour, alongside the serious business of raising funds for the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  

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I hope you will all come to this weekend of Fairies, Angels, Earrings, Cakes, Tea and Wine.  Come to see what other kinds of paintings I do.  It will be light hearted, fun and serious.  There will be a display of one or two of the smaller AGD paintings and some information, so that everyone will know what they are buying the Angels etc for.  It will be lovely to see all of you, and meet those I have not yet met.  

There have been some very generous cheques sent in the post for the A Graceful Death film.  Thank you for all of you who have sent them. If you want to send any money to the A Graceful Death film and exhibition, please do so by emailing me, and I will give you my address to send to.  Make the cheques out to A Graceful Death and I will receipt all cheques.  Some of you know my address anyway, so send away!  My email address is antonia.rolls1@btinternet.com.  Thank you.

I am talking to St James's in Piccadilly about possibly showing A Graceful Death there.  This is a church I have heard about with interest, and am really delighted to be at least talking about it being a venue.  I know it would work splendidly in St James's.  I have not had the pleasure of meeting the Rector, but I have seen her talk at my friend Nicola Slee's latest book launch which was held in this church.  For your interest, Nicola's book is excellent and is called "Seeking the Risen Christa".  There has been a small and encouraging flurry of emails between the Wellcom Trust and me about the AGD, but I think they are booked up for the next hundred years.  You never know though, one day that would be excellent.  They were very enthusiastic about the exhibition, and that always helps.

Neill and I have re shot our video for the We Fund video, and when he can he will edit it so I can re load a different video.  I have already said that I have overestimated myself with We Fund, and it is a learning curve.  If they agree, we may put our project back on after this one, with a  realistic target figure.  Despite this, the film is moving on, and the exhibition is moving ahead, and we are doing all we can to make it work.  

This afternoon I go to start my volunteering job at our local Hospice.  Time to learn what the end of life is like day to day,  and to do so with the Hospice Movement.  I will be going there one day a week. 

Please come to the Angels, Fairies and Earrings weekend.  Even if just to chat, it will be lovely to see you all.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

 www.antoniarolls.co.uk for my website
www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for the well known image of Jesus sitting on the London tube being ignored
www.antoniarolls.blogspot.com for an account of an Artist and Mother in Bognor Regis



Angels And Earrings And Fairies And Cake

All coming together to raise funds for and awareness of the A Graceful Death project.  This includes both the Film and the Exhibition.  Read on -

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Angels, Earrings, Fairies and Cakes by
Antonia Rolls 

Shopping Angel

You are warmly invited to a weekend sale of Paintings, Prints and
Handmade Earrings
and
Wine and Tea and Cakes 
 
Fairy Cakes

Saturday May 21, 10am - 9 pm
Sunday May 22, 10am - 9 pm
  at
127 Worple Road, Wimbledon SW20

Weight Watchers Angel

Sale in aid of the A Graceful Death projects, the Film and the Exhibition.


***************************************************************************************
I aim to have this sale of Angels and Fairies and fun things while also displaying the latest information about the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  The weekend is about having fun with all of you, with colour, fun, wit and humour, alongside the serious business of raising funds for the A Graceful Death exhibition and film.  

As you all know, the A Graceful Death exhibition is about acknowledging the importance of the end of life.  It is about what it means to die, and what it means to survive - this means both to survive the process of grief and bereavement and to survive the treatment of cancer or other life threatening illnesses.  The A Graceful Death exhibition began with the death of my partner from cancer in November 2007.  I painted the last few weeks and days of Steve's life, trying to capture how though his body was ravaged by the cancer, the life, the spirit that made him Steve, lived on in him to the end.  The paintings are powerful and raw and full of love.  The A Graceful Death exhibition has now evolved to include the stories and images of others at the ends of their lives too.  It includes the images and words from those who are undergoing treatment for cancer, and those who have survived well past the five year mark.  My colleague Neill Blume and I are now making a film of the exhibition and its effects.  Neill will be there at the Angels, Fairies and Earrings Fund Raising Weekend, filming away - so come and be part of it.

A Graceful Death is a not for profit enterprise.  All donations directly to the exhibition are gratefully received.  I am very fortunate to continue with A Graceful Death through the kindness and love of those who support it both financially, and with time and practical help.

I make earrings with a passion too.  Apart from having loads already made, I will have all the beads and baubles in piles for you to select and design your own.  I will make them up for you then and there.  Your own design and colour scheme.  Go for it.  

See you all there.  A Bar is set up for all those who need more than tea, and there will be cakes and sustenance to help you make your earrings, Angel and Fairy Painting and or print buying decisions.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Ups And Downs. A Reality Check And Some Magic.

www.antoniarolls.co.uk for my website
www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for the well known image of Jesus sitting on the London tube being ignored
www.antoniarolls.blogspot.com for an account of an Artist and Mother in Bognor Regis

The A Graceful Death Film Project -
Making a film of the effect an exhibition of paintings of death and the end of life (A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of life) has on those who are involved in the works, and those who come to experience them at exhibitions.   Showing how the exhibition is created and broadcast, and hearing what those who love it say, and those who don't love it, say.  And very significantly, showing how it feels to paint a sitter as they approach the end of their life, or as they face an uncertain future.  A section of the exhibition shows Survivors too, those who have come through illness, or the bereavement process, and are living again.
Click on the link below to see our video and to hear more and to donate to this important work. 
 
Ups And Downs.  A Reality Check And Some Magic

 There have been some very interesting ups and downs for the A Graceful Death project.

This account will be about the difficulties that I have been encountering.  It includes too the progress that has been made, as the A Graceful Death exhibition, film and project  finds its way forward,  and the response to what we are doing is growing.

But first, I write will be about the joy of filming Nushi Khan-Levy.  Nushi is undergoing treatment for cancer.  She has agreed to be filmed and her portrait  is being painted for the exhibition.  Eileen photographed her yesterday, and Neill filmed her and I interviewed her.  A lot for a lady to do, who is tired from her chemo treatment.  


Nushi.  Very beautiful and very strong.


Nushi is someone I have known for many years.  She is a successful screen, television, stage and radio actress.  Nushi is busy, Nushi has two growing daughters and a demanding career.  Her husband is busy with his demanding career, the family is dynamic and fun, they know everyone, they do everything, and then Nushi got cancer. 

Last year, Nushi came to the London showing of A Graceful Death hosted by Clarissa de Wend Fenton.  As ever, she was shining and vital, full of news and work, her girls going to university and everything as busy as it always was.  And so, a couple of months ago, I got an email from Nushi telling me that in the time between that exhibition and now, she herself had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had had to undergo two swift and urgent operations.  Now, she was mid chemo treatment, was very sick and apart from everything else, had lost all her hair.  When I read her email I knew that I wanted to paint her and that the word that covered her, to me, was goddess.  I asked her if she would take part in the exhibition as a Survivor, and she said Yes.  I asked her if we could film her, and she said Yes.  And so we did.

I wanted to film Nushi  because she will speak openly of the dark places she went to.  She can talk to us of the fears and the panic she felt about her diagnosis. "Ask me about being horrible," she told me, "and let me talk about fear." Nushi is wise and articulate.  She is willing to show her vulnerability, to speak of her reality, and then to make us laugh with her wit, her warmth and her sense of fun. The thing is, that Nushi does not look ill.  She has lost her hair, yes.  She has what she calls Chemo Brain, and gets forgetful and muddled, but one of the important points Nushi made, about herself, was that she had had a choice.  Either she curled up and went under, she said, or she made the effort to live each day at a time.  For me, Antonia, living a day at a time is a theory.  As far as I know I have many such days, and I have heard that living each day at a time, each moment at a time, is a gift.  I don't really understand it though, and I have no idea how to do it.  It sounds great, but I live all over the place; past, present, future.  Nushi knows how to live each day at a time.  She had to work it out and do it to survive the experience, she chose to do it.  So she paints on her eyes, her eyebrows, puts on colours, paints her nails (which she says are blue black anyway from the chemo) and does not like to wear her wig.  She says that there have been moments with her husband, during the diagnosis, the operations and the treatment, where time distilled itself into such heightened awareness and love and supreme consciousness of the moment, that she wishes she could bottle it and use it when her hair grows back, her life is more normal, and she is well past this time of treatment.


Nushi says she is doing Cancer Chic.  I thought that was wonderful, because actually, she is.


News now of the rest of the A Graceful Death project.

A very heartfelt thank you to all those who have been sending in donations for the Film.  I am very grateful and touched.  I have a dedicated bank account for this, and for those of you who want to send donations to me  by post, please email me on antonia.rolls1@btinternet.com and I will give my address. Unfortunately the We Fund donation site is not doing very well;  and it is time to update the video and reduce the amount we want to receive there.  It is a learning curve.  When I put up the video and the link, I had not realised just how my time would be dominated by trying to organise and publicise the whole concept of A Graceful Death.  I did think that all I had to do was tell people about AGD and they would love it - which may or may not be true, but I have learned that I need to constantly explore where this project (both the film and the exhibition) is going, who it is reaching and why it is so important.  I have been writing proposals for funding applications that are very detailed business plans.  I have had to address how I am going to achieve it all. 

It is significant too, that this is non profit making, therefore working on it means that I am not earning. So, with important lessons being learnt as I write, I have been planning, organising, promoting, researching and  working at the A Graceful Death exhibition.   And have been really touched by the donations that have been coming in.  Thank you.
I do have a team working with me too, all of whom give so much  time, practical help and advice without payment. The A Graceful Death team are as follows -
  •  Eileen Rafferty.   www.eileenrafferty.blogspot.com.  Eileen not only takes the most extraordinary photos for the AGD exhibitions and for a book she is writing on it, she is studying for a photography degree and holds a senior position in the Civil Service. Eileen helps with planning, applications, ideas and is has been with the exhibition from the very beginning.   
  • Alan Bedford.  Alan is a retired NHS Chief Executive and at present a private consultant in the Health Service.  Alan was instrumental in the creation of the Martlets Hospice in Hove, Sussex, and is on the Board of Governors.  Alan gives constant support with both financial and business advice, and has constantly advised me on strategies for making the AGD project viable and practical.  
  • Clarissa de Wend Fenton.  Clarissa is a business owner in London who has not only hosted the A Graceful Death exhibition in London herself, but is helping to find future venues for exhibitions.  Clarissa has constantly given me business advice and has introduced me to her accountant who is now offering her services to help me to keep the AGD finances up to date. 
  • Neill Blume. Neill is making the film with me.  Neill is a busy film maker, and has understood completely what A Graceful Death is about.  Neill has given his time and expertise to creating our film, and has shown huge enthusiasm, insight and commitment.
 I am very fortunate indeed. 

The A Graceful Death exhibition is working on a new set of paintings and writings on the subject of suicide.    I am still hoping to meet, film and paint Patrick Joyce, the Incurable Optimist, who is suffering from Motor Neurone Disease.  Patrick is happy to take part in the A Graceful Death film and exhibition, despite putting on an extensive set of exhibitions of his own work.  Patrick is an artist, and is using his art to not only raise money for, but to raise awareness of, Motor Neurone Disease.   Please see http://patricktheoptimist.org/.

Finally, Neill and I are updating our We Fund video as soon as we can.  Please do donate to our film.  It is a truly life affirming project, A Graceful Death.




Cancer Chic.  The glorious Nushi.

Friday, 25 March 2011

A Graceful Death Exhibition And Film; Latest News

www.antoniarolls.co.uk for my website
www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for the well known image of Jesus sitting on the London tube being ignored
www.antoniarolls.blogspot.com for an account of an Artist and Mother in Bognor Regis

The A Graceful Death Film Project -
 
Making a film of the effect an exhibition of paintings of death and the end of life (A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of life) has on those who are involved in the works, and those who come to experience them at exhibitions.   Showing how the exhibition is created and broadcast, and hearing what those who love it say, and those who don't love it, say.  And very significantly, showing how it feels to paint a sitter as they approach the end of their life, or as they face an uncertain future.  A section of the exhibition shows Survivors too, those who have come through illness, or the bereavement process, and are living again.
 
Click on the link below to see our video and to hear more and to donate to this important work. 
 




An Update On The Exhibition And Film 
 
I have been sending out information on the above project to everyone that I can think of.  It has been hard work to process everything into a small-ish format so that it can be read easily both by email and by post.  So far, we have been pledged a very good amount and are grateful. There is not so much to report on the film, as I am only just beginning the fund raising appeal and am awaiting responses.   Neill Blume, my colleague who is making the film, and I, have already started work on filming, and will be making another filming journey out very soon as I am visiting a very brave lady who will be painted for the next time A Graceful Death is shown.  This lady is recovering from cancer and she and I need to speak first so that I know what it is that she wants from the painting, and I can do the best painting possible.
 
This morning I spoke to the local newspaper about what I am doing, and about the film project.  The journalist that I spoke with has covered A Graceful Death before, and is aware of what it is all about.  He writes very sensitively, and I look forward to seeing what comes of it.  I am doing all the fund raising and the awareness raising in between having other painting commitments, so every little bit helps.  If my local paper comes on board, then I am in a better position to fund raise.
 
I expect everyone who starts a major project finds that it can take over their lives!  I could, if I had no children and no home and no other work to do, spend all day every day doing this exhibition.  I love how it is growing, I love how it seems to be working and most of all, I love the responses of the people who come and see it when it is set up. I don't like the feeling that I never do enough for it though.  It can be hard to see the wood for the trees.  There are a few more very interesting paintings to paint, and some more people I need to contact with a view to painting them.  I am remembering people from past exhibitions and realising that they would be excellent subjects for the Survivors that I want to paint.  Oh if only time and money were no object.  There is a wondeful lady I wish I could visit that I met when A Graceful Death went to Dublin.  I would love to travel over to meet her again and to ask to paint her.  She was a truly remarkable survivor.  And what an artist she is too.  I will work on that one though.  
 
I phoned the Spectator and St James in Piccadilly in the last few days and both extremely helpful ladies I spoke to listened to what I was doing, and both said it was timely as they had both lost someone important only very recently.  You see, it is such a human experience, loss and bereavement.  I meet this everywhere I go.  How amazing that death unites is all.  I hope to make some new contacts, regarding the Spectator and St James in Piccadilly.  It is time to show the A Graceful Death in London again.  And, talking with the journalist this morning, he suggested it was time to try to show the exhibition in Chichester once more.  I agree and will now look for somewhere to put on A Graceful Death there.  You may remember, that when I first tried to show A Graceful Death in Chichester for its first time in 2009, there was such an objection to it that everyone pulled out just before it was to be shown.  I think it is time to try in Chichester again.  The exhibition has proved itself to be sensitive, controversial and uplifting.


Next week is going to be given over entirely to painting again.  I have other commission work to do, and will prepare the wood and the space for the next A Graceful Death paintings, which will be taking shape by the end of this month.  
 
Please visit our page on We Fund, and please donate whatever you can for our film project.  Every pound helps.  Every amount helps.  We don't expect you to give us tens, hundreds or thousands (though should you wish to, we say Oh go on then...), whatever you can afford is helpful for us.  Thank you, another update soon.
 

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

The A Graceful Death Film Project -
 
making a film of the effect an exhibition of paintings of death and the end of life (A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of life) has on those who are involved in the works, and those who come to experience them at exhibitions.   Showing how the exhibition is created and broadcast, and hearing what those who love it say, and those who don't love it, say.  
 
Click on the link below to see more and to donate to this important work. 
 


 
Filming in St Nicholas Church in Manchester, where the exhibition has just had its latest run.
 
Some reactions to the exhibition in Manchester
 

"I was privileged to be at that opening evening, truly powerful. Reading of some of the reactions of people to Antonia's work (I loved Jesus & John the Baptist playing their Gameboys, a card which made me laugh out loud in the middle of all the other images which often moved me to tears, how could anyone take offence??) just makes it even clearer why we need Antonia & her work. Thank you so much to Antonia, Rachel & all who made it possible."  Loiuse

 

 "I think what you are doing is a beautiful thing. And I think Jesus is very challenging, and not just comforting. Your writings and what I can see of your pictures speak to me in a powerful way: partly, because my own wife died just over two years ago - she took her own life, but had really tried to give herself a graceful death - which may also sound strange to some people; partly because I have seen many people die; but mostly because they somehow fill me hope when I am such a cynical and pessimistic old cuss these days. I think you have tremendous strength and compassion - so thank you for sharing that with the world."  Stuart 



 
 "Goodbye Micheal, Goodbye Old Friend".  My father leans over to say this to his old friend Michael who died later that evening.  They had been friends for about 50 years.  (Acrylic on board)
 

"A Graceful Dying"  (saint in a chair in a hospice).  Oil on wood.  Waiting to die, with only days left.
 
 
The A Graceful Death exhibition is a collection of raw, powerful and loving paintings and poetry about the end of life.  The poetry has been donated and sent in by those who have been affected by the exhibition, and tells of their own stories.  It began with paintings of the last few days, weeks and day of my partner who died in 2007 from cancer.  It has grown in the last two years to include the experiences and portraits of others both at the end of life, and those who have been left with no other option but to go on living - Surviving. 
 
 "Survivor" the colours of golden yellow and orange say it all.  Nothing else is needed, this is me having come through the loss of someone special.  I did it.  I am alive still and life is good.  Oil on wood.
 
 The exhibition has had an extraordinary reception as it has toured the UK.  It started in Bognor Regis, and went on to London, Oxford, Birmingham, Dublin and Manchester.  It is next due to exhibit for the month of November in Birmingham.
 
The next huge project for A Graceful Death is the making of A Graceful Death, the Film.  My colleague, the film maker Neill Blume, and I are making the A Graceful Death film about the way the exhibition is created and received.  We want to film the hard work that goes into the creation of the exhibition, the progress it makes as it travels to each new venue.  We aim to film the responses of those who come to see it, and of the reactions that people at the exhibition, beside the paintings.  So far, the reactions of those who have come to the exhibition have been overwhelming.  They have been truly cathartic for many, very painful for others, and deeply moving for all.  There have also been those who do not like the exhibition at all, and we will be filming what they have to say too.
 
Our film will also show paintings in progress of those who are nearing the end of their lives.  It will film how it is to make such a work, and the reactions and thoughts of all those involved.  This will include how it affects me as I am working.
 
The aim of our film, the aim of the exhibition, is to start the long overdue conversation on how it is to die. We want to challenge, with grace, this taboo called Death.  What is means to be at the end of life, and how we all will die.  It seems that Art can address this issue in a way that is beyond mere words, and that the A Graceful Death exhibition and film, is just at the beginning of this discovery.
 
We Fund is a website that is dedicated to helping artistic and creative projects to find backing.  Neill and I have set up a page on this website and would like to encourage you to follow the link below, and to help us by helping to sponsor our project.  Every small donation helps (as well as every large one.)  As you will see on the website, we offer heartfelt rewards for each sponsor.  Please  visit this page below and watch our short video which explains what we are doing
 
 
With many thanks,
Antonia