I have two more paintings in my head to do for the exhibition. I have done a couple of Steve on the morning he died and he was beautiful. My images of him are very stark and unlovely. I am intruding into the paintings with my feelings, and I don't want the final image I produce of him to be like that.
He was ill, he was thin, he was jaundiced, but he was so well cared for and so still and seemed so calm when all the pain had gone. I want to represent the End of Suffering for him. A wonderful lady from St Barnabas House Hospice came to the studio and said it was the same for her father. He looked like Steve but there was that beauty in him, that is so difficult to describe.
In fact, I think that is the only painting I have time for.
I have another exhibition in the Oxmarket Gallery in Chichester called Every Day Angels from 22 November to 5 December. I am painting for that too, and I love that I have Angels on one side of Chichester and Death on the other.
Today I will talk to my dear friend in Birmingham, who has arranged for this exhibition to go to the Theological College there and for me to give a talk. I am nervous in case, as usual, I am not good enough, but excited too because this friend is such an encouraging and wise lady.
So, back to work. Today I am on my own all day with no other appointments and am so delighted. I love these days when I can just melt into the studio and not come out again till dark.
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